There’s a particular feeling you get when you step outside in a big, crowded city. The moment the door swings open, a wave of motion hits you — buses rushing by, people navigating sidewalks without eye contact, a thousand tiny urgencies moving in every direction. You don’t stop to think about it. You just step in and let yourself be carried by the current.
At some point in their career, almost every engineer asks, “What does my manager actually do?” As an engineering manager, much of my work is what I call “invisible-important”. This invisibility can lead to mistrust, misalignment, and a lack of understanding about how a manager contributes to team success.
As a hiring manager, I’ve recently started the process of recruiting for an open role on my team. This post is not an advertisement for that role but rather an opportunity to share some loud thoughts and reflections after my initial experiences with this hiring cycle.
In the past, I often found myself wanting to take charge of my career and personal growth, but I’d end up procrastinating or just going with the flow. Instead of managing things proactively, I would react to situations as they arose. When I transitioned into management and started having deeper conversations about career development with the people I support, I realized I wasn’t alone.
Being a parent is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. When I transitioned into management, I dove into books on leadership, looking for every detail I could find. But what surprised me was how often the lessons from those books applied to parenting and vice versa. Over time, I found myself using skills I learned as a parent at work and leadership principles at home. Nowadays, when someone in a leadership position asks me what to read, I always recommend two parenting books: How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, and Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Dr. Becky Kennedy. I’ve distilled the information from these books into principles that I try to apply daily, both at work and at home.