Stoicism for Engineering Managers
Before I ever read The Daily Stoic, I had already spent time with the original works—Seneca, Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius. I loved them. But I always felt like something was missing: a version that brought it all together. A single place where the ideas were accessible, organized, and felt close to the world I live in.
When I discovered The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday, it clicked. One quote a day, one short reflection. Simple, structured. It became a daily ritual. And after a while, I started thinking: what if I did the same - but for engineering managers?
Stoicism is not a buzzword
This isn’t about “staying calm” or pretending emotions don’t exist. Stoicism, as I understand it, is a practical philosophy. A way to live and lead with clarity.
- Control what you can - your actions, your integrity, your words
- Accept what you can’t - org decisions, market shifts, other people
- Lead with virtue - wisdom, courage, justice, discipline
- Be present - not stuck in past mistakes or future anxieties
When you manage teams, this mindset becomes not just helpful, but necessary.
The intersection of chaos and clarity
Engineering management sits at an uncomfortable intersection:
- Systems - codebases, delivery, infrastructure
- People - motivation, burnout, growth
- Business - shifting priorities, tradeoffs
- Self - doubt, exhaustion, imposter syndrome
Stoicism doesn’t remove the chaos. But it helps create space between the chaos and your response to it.
How I practice it
Over time, I’ve built a few rituals that stuck:
- Morning intention: Before a high-stakes conversation, I pause and ask: What kind of leader do I want to be in this meeting?
- Evening reflection: A short check-in-what went well, what felt off, what I avoided
- Negative visualization: What if this person resigns? What if the launch fails? Rehearsing it keeps me calm when it happens
- The view from above: Zooming out-will this still matter in a month? What would my future self advise?
Why I’m writing
EM Meditations is a GitHub repo where I’ll publish short reflections on engineering management, each grounded in a Stoic quote or idea.
It’s part journal, part practice. Not a guide, not advice-just honest thinking made public.
I hope it helps other engineering leaders feel a little more steady, a little more clear-headed, and a little less alone.